PLEASE GO TO THIS BLOG INSTEAD! http://www.tumblr.com/blog/riddles-or-frocks its a long story but thats my good one

poyzn:

Guess what everybody’s going as this Halloween.

(via diaryofawriter)

ima-mischief-causin-sherlockian:

thedevilwearssammyonwednesdays:

jonnovstheinternet:

imnotarealfuckingpirate:


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Sainsbury’s. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Sainsbury’s…
Dear Mrs. Harris,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our videosurveillance cameras”:1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an officialvoice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of Maltesers.6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he begancrying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
Emergency Medics were called.9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.10. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudlyhumming the ’ Mission Impossible’ theme.11. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.12. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsedthrough, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’13. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’14. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.And last, but not least:15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waitedawhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’
One of the Staff passed out.

OMFG I AM SCREAMING.

So good

“Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.”
Is this woman’s husband Misha Collins?

OMG THIS IS GREAT

ima-mischief-causin-sherlockian:

thedevilwearssammyonwednesdays:

jonnovstheinternet:

imnotarealfuckingpirate:

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Sainsbury’s. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Sainsbury’s…


Dear Mrs. Harris,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video
surveillance cameras”:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of Maltesers.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ’ Mission Impossible’ theme.

11. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

12. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

13. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

14. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’


One of the Staff passed out.

OMFG I AM SCREAMING.

So good

“Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.”

Is this woman’s husband Misha Collins?

OMG THIS IS GREAT

(Source: youknowyourebritishwhen, via whyismishasofab)

congratuwell-done:

im not kidding CEOs and the government could learn from denny’s tumblr on how to relate to the youths of today

batmanisagatewaydrug:

madameatomicbomb:

kaleyed:

Everyone should watch Sky High for the sheer fact that there is a character whose mother is a superhero and father is a super villain and the kid’s name is Warren Peace. 

Warren Peace, man. 

He also looks like this, if that helps at all

image

This movie is ridiculously underrated and the fact that they didn’t get to make it a four-part series like they had planned is a tragedy 

(via partiallydeceasedcuties)

inkskinned:

idk man it just makes me so so so sad when you’re watching a cutiepie talk about their passion like when they light up and start bubbling over with words and then all of a sudden they stop themselves and say stuff like “sorry, i know this is boring” or “sorry i just got excited”

like you know somewhere in their life someone they respected told them “shut up nobody cares” and ever since they can’t talk about their favorite things without apologizing every 5 seconds

(via castauriel)

catscrew:

mandikw:

not-enough-fandom:

professorfrogar:

toonskribblez:

jerryterry:

Man successfully grabs remote without knocking over cheetos, yet remains displeased.
(original gif [x])

This man lives in a world where everybody is in an infomercial. They all screw up simple daily tasks, but not him. Because of his incapability to be incapable, this man is bullied, ridiculed, and shunned by everyone around him. Yearning to fit in, he desperately tries to be clumsy but fails to cause a huge mess.

Until one day when he was confronted by a mugger. The mugger tried to stab him but continuously missed until they stabbed themself. He found his true calling and became a hero, stopping criminals everywhere by using their own  clumsiness against them.

INFOMERCIAL AU

OMG


I

catscrew:

mandikw:

not-enough-fandom:

professorfrogar:

toonskribblez:

jerryterry:

Man successfully grabs remote without knocking over cheetos, yet remains displeased.


(original gif [x])

This man lives in a world where everybody is in an infomercial. They all screw up simple daily tasks, but not him. Because of his incapability to be incapable, this man is bullied, ridiculed, and shunned by everyone around him. Yearning to fit in, he desperately tries to be clumsy but fails to cause a huge mess.

Until one day when he was confronted by a mugger. The mugger tried to stab him but continuously missed until they stabbed themself. He found his true calling and became a hero, stopping criminals everywhere by using their own  clumsiness against them.

INFOMERCIAL AU

OMG

I

(via state-of-complacency)

mgc50c:

Greece with my girlfriend

becomingyoutube:

johnwatsyn:

heyjohnimholme:

gallifreyandrassilon:

Molly Hooper really needs to stop dating murderers.

holy shit on a tit

fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FuCk

congRATS SHERLOCK FANDOM IT TOOK YOU APPROXIMATELY 12 HOURS

(via castielslittleleviathan)

baiosbootybutt:

no-love-no-h8:

ppsyduck:

THAT EXPRESSION PEOPLE MAKE WHEN THEY’RE ABOUT TO FALL OFF A CHAIR

IS

image

THE BEST 

image

EXPRESSION 

image

EVER

Also this

image

i would like to share this

(Source: clraft, via winkydean)